Monday, August 30, 2004

Baker's Dozen

I admit it: i'm becoming a blog addict. So it's not unusual for me to run across the latest meme out here in the blogosphere. I don't know if this qualifies, but my boy EJ has this new concept he got from KB: Baker's Dozen.

According to KB, "Realizing that my local bagel store has Baker's Dozen specials on Mondays led to this. It has become a weekly thing that others want to participate in too. The idea is to come up with twelve thoughts and one pic to describe your weekend. Try using quotes, events, blog entries, whatever. Post a link to your entry when you're done."

So check out my Baker's Dozen today, and hopefully on the regular. Assuming i can come up with a dozen things to post.

  1. Squeezed my entire Olympics into two or three days of viewing.
  2. Saw a couple of sports i'd never seen before, including some kind of rowing where the guys were up on one knee while paddling. What the hell was that?
  3. Watched team synchronized swimming for the first time. Those girls are serious athletes, flipping off of each other's shoulders without ever touching the bottom of the pool. I can't eve do it on solid ground.
  4. Some crazy man came running onto the marathon course and grabbed the leader at the time, a Brazilian who ultimately took the Silver Medal. Damn. You get tackled like a running back and you still finish in third place? You good. LOL!
  5. OOH! USA got spanked! In basketball, with NBA players, no less. They barely got the bronze medal. Wha tha fu ...
  6. Why did i spend so much time crotch watching during the Athletics competitions? It's those sex fiends on that LGBTPoC list! They warped my mind.
  7. Troy and i went for a walk on Sunday, the first time in a long time that we spent our Sunday time together.
  8. Why do the men wear those tight, total-body suits in the track competitions? I'm a happily married man, but-- wait, did i talk about this already?
  9. Why was the hottest part of the Closing Ceremonies the presentation from Beijing welcoming the world to the 2008 games? That woman who was working the red ribbons should have trained some of the rhythmic gymnastics girls. And while i'm there ...
  10. GO CHINA! In spite of NBC commentators' focus on some Canadian boy in the platform diving competition (who didn't even medal), Jia Hu of China KICKED ASS with many, many perfect 10s. If the Chinese were so dominant, so highly favored, why wasn't the focus on them? (Of course the nationalistic Americans only kept plugging the Canadian because NO AMERICANS made it to the finals.)
  11. Why did half the second week of coverage focus on the poor, wronged, American, white boy who -- hello!!! -- won the gold medal? "Oh, look at little Paul Hamm. Ewyboddy pickin' on him. That mean ol' Korean gymnast should just accept it when the judges scored him wrong. Boo hoo!" I can't take it.
  12. Gianna mothafuckin-Angelopoulos-Daskalaki.
    I would say "nuff said," but i feel the need to point out that she is the first woman in the history of the modern Olympics to head an organizing committee. I remember seeing interviews with her months ago, when the media was going on and on about how fears of terrorist attacks at the games were at an all-time high, how the physical structures were way behind schedule being built, how "the world" wasn't sure Athens would be ready. She was poised, charismatic, and assured. "We will be ready." From everything i saw, Athens was more than ready, they were fabulous hosts of a stellar event. I -- like Bob Costas -- am wondering if she's running for President.

So that was my Olympic weekend. And my first Baker's Dozen.


Thursday, August 26, 2004

Damn Memes (or "I'm a WHAT?!?")

Yes, i'm a sucker for a good meme, and this one follows up on the whole "evil genius" thing that people were falling out about. So first i was a DICTATOR, now i'm a BRUTE.

What tha fuck!?!?!

Check out my results below. Or go get your own. One thing i know: i gotta stop reading IntelliFreak's blog in the middle of the night ...

eXpressive: 2/10
Practical: 4/10
Physical: 8/10
Giver: 4/10

You are a RSYT--Reserved Sentimental Physical Taker. This makes you a Brute.

You are volatile, stormy and incredibly sexy. You have a hungry, fascinating way about you. You are a riot when you're happy and a menace when you're angry. You are strangely appealing to your target sex, and they find themselves drawn in despite their wiser instincts.

In your professional life, your type makes you a star, a force to be reckoned with, and the one people trust when they have a problem that's beyond them. In a relationship, you are a bull in a china shop, and if your partner isn't clever s/he may get plowed down. I could warn you to be more communicative with and sensitive to your partner, but that's just not going to happen. You don't ask much of your significant other, so you have no tolerance for high demands on you. For you, it's either love it or leave it.

You work hard and play hard. You enjoy a good drink. You have had many lovers and will have many more. People try and fail to get you into bed. They want you for a friend and fear you as an enemy.

This may not sound too flattering, but the truth is that because you know yourself so well you're happier in a relationship than most everybody else.

Hemingway would write about you. Maybe Hemingway is you.

Of the 5456 people who have taken this quiz, 2.4 % are this type.

(Hmph. The only type rarer at the time i took the quiz was the STOIC. What fresh hell ....)

Sunday, August 22, 2004

You Know You're From Michigan

Couldn't resist this one. I picked it up on IntelliFreak's blog today.


You Know You're From Michigan When...

You define summer as three months of bad sledding.

You think Alkaline batteries were named for a Tiger outfielder.

You can identify an Ohio accent.

Your idea of a seven-course meal is a six pack and a bucket of smelt.

Owning a Japanese car is a hanging offense in your hometown.

You know how to play (and pronounce) Euchre.

The Big Mac is something that you drive across.

You believe that "down south" means Toledo.

You bake with soda and drink pop.

You drive 75 on the highway and you pass on the right.

Your Little League baseball game was snowed out.

You learned how to drive a boat before you learned how to ride a bike.

You know how to pronounce "Mackinac".

The word "thumb" has a geographical rather than an anatomical significance.

You have experienced frostbite and sunburn in the same week.

You expect Vernor's when you order ginger ale.

You know that Kalamazoo not only exists, but that it isn't far from Hell.

Your favorite holidays are Christmas, Thanksgiving, the opening of deer season and Devil's Night.

Your snowmobile, lawn mower and fishing boat all have big block Chevy engines.

At least one person in your family disowns you for the week of the Michigan/Michigan State football game.

You know what a millage is.

Traveling coast to coast means driving from Port Huron to Muskegon.

Half the change in your pocket is Canadian, eh.

You show people where you grew up by pointing to a spot on your left hand.

You know what a "Yooper" is.

Your car rusts out before you need the brakes done

Half the people you know say they are from Detroit...
yet you don't personally know anyone who actually lives in Detroit

"Up North" means north of Clare.

You know what a pastie is.

You occasionally cheer "Go Lions- and take the Tigers with you."

Snow tires come standard on all your cars.

At least 25% of your relatives work for the auto industry.

You don't understand what the big deal about Chicago is.

Octopus and hockey go together as naturally as hot dogs and baseball.

You know more about chill factors and lake effect than you'd EVER like to know!

Your snowblower has more miles on it than your car.

Shoveling the driveway constitutes a great upper body workout.

When giving directions, you refer to "A Michigan Left."

You know when it has rained because of the smell of worms.

You never watch the Weather Channel - you can just assume they're wrong.

The snowmen you make in your front yard actually freeze. Solid.

The snow freezes so hard that you can actually walk across it and not break it or leave any marks.

All your shoes are called "tennis shoes", even though no one here plays tennis anyway.

Your major school field trip includes camping and cross-country skiing.

Half your friends have a perfect sledding hill right in their own backyard.

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Michigan.

Monday, August 16, 2004

Chasing Charley

'Splain to me why i'm in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida.

Troy and i drove down here Saturday. We passed through the remnants of destruction the likes of which i had never seen. You know those huge billboards on the side of the freeways? Imagine the huge, main poles twisted and bent. THAT shit is awesome. Of course, we were originally supposed to drive down Friday night, arriving Saturday morning. Why do i think we would have been a news story by Sunday?
Two negroes, apparently "companions" were killed when their rental car blew off the road and through the wall of a nearby hotel during Hurricane Charley's onslaught. Details at 11:00.

Signs, parts of buildings, and even some vehicles littered the sides of freeway. The most striking thing i noticed, though was what wasn't destroyed: the plants.

Oh sure, there were some uprooted or broken trees, but for the most part, the vegetation was unharmed. In fact, a lot of the damage that was done to the trees was apparently from man-made debris hitting them. Hmm. "Nature's fury" goes tearing across the peninsula and nature remains largely unharmed. I mean, the leaves were still on the trees and bushes, while the roof tiles from buildings had been stripped away.

Humans are funny. The news was describing the folks living in Punta Gorda, Florida as "victims" of the hurricane. I thought victims were people who had been the target of crimes. Just more evidence of the egocentric mindset of the colonized world. "How dare Mother Nature attack us!?!?!"


Just my ramblings for the day. A hurricane comes through, cleans the air, scours the earth, rebalances the wetlands, and all the folks on the news can think about is how much damage it caused to people's property. What a crock.