Last Post for the Year

What a year.

I've grown (i think). I've overcome some challenges. I've strengthened my commitment to my partner. I've made some job changes and contemplated a whole new career. I've brought my web site to life (with some serious professional help), and started exploring my photographic vision in full force.

2004 held a lot for me.

Still, i don't get all the hoopla over the concept of the "New Year." It's just another day for me.

I tend to look at my birthday (March 2, for all you compulsive gift-givers) as the beginning of my new year. January 1 is kind of arbitrary, isn't it? I don't remember how the Gregorian Calendar came into being -- some Pope, i think -- but January 1 might as well be June 1 or September 23 or ... or ... March 2. ;-)

Whatever the reason, whatever the celebration whatever you do to commemorate the coming of 2005, be well, be powerful, be true.

Love You.
m

10 Things I Love About Black Gay Men

Charles posted this challenge on his blog:

It's sad but true, if the list were 10 things I hate, I could do it without thinking. This is a good exercise for me, to remember the love I have for my brothers. I encourage others to do the same on their blogs.

I decided to take up the challenge. Only, i didn't expect it would be such a challenge. Unlike Charles, i don't know if i could so easily come up with ten things i hate either, but that's a story for another post.

Check out my list; i hope it's affirming. (P.S. I made my list before reading Charles's, so it will be interesting to see if there's any duplication.) So, in no particular order ...

1. Queens. Whiteboys can claim queenery, but they're just working with the Black girls castoff expressions. I love it.
   
   
2. Sex. In case you thought my being gay was strictly an intellectual or political or social exercise, think again. I love sex. With men. Especially black men. Deal with it.
   
   
3. Community. I've argued (rather cogently, i think) that there really is no Black Gay Community in Atlanta. In the larger sense, i think that's still true. But it doesn't matter; wherever two or three are gathered in the name of Tony Daniels (or Essex Hemphill, or James Baldwin, or even goddamn J.L. King), community is in the midst.
   
   
4. My Reflection. In the early days of my "coming out" experience, the thing that saved my life was realizing there were other men like me that i could actually touch and talk to. In the MANY years since, i hope i've provided that same lifesaving reflection for some other brothers.
   
   
5. Wit. Okay, so the catty, queeny, reading black gurl is a stereotype. I gotta believe, though, that the smart gene often goes hand-in-hand with the gay gene. Or maybe it's the culture we've created that lends itself to brilliant jibes. Whatever the cause, i'm grateful for Juan Smith, Charles Stephens, Kevin Bynes, Tony Daniels, Duncan Teague, and a host of other fierce bristas who know how to let folks hold it, honey!
   
   
6. Creativity. Essex Hemphill. James Baldwin. James Richmond Barthé. Marlon Riggs. Patrik-Ian Polk. Anthony Antoine. Tim'm West. Khalid Kamau. Juan Smith. Langston Hughes. Jerry Boles. Paris Barclay. Marvin K. White. Willi Smith. Duncan E. Teague. Reginald Harris. Kevin Aviance. And that's just off the top of my head. 'Nuff said.
   
   
7. AIDS. No, not because i'm glad we have it. Certainly not because we're still harder hit than any other group. No. Because we didn't go away. Because we spoke up and still speak up. Because we find reasons and ways to live and love in spite of the odds against us.
   
   
8. Beauty. So what if Queer Eye doesn't see us. Who cares if Boy Meets Boy doesn't meet our needs. I see it in us every day, in so many ways. If you doubt, check my portfolio of black and (mostly) gay men. We are beautiful in all shapes, sizes, and shades.
   
   
9. Style. I almost overlooked this one because i'm so completely devoid of it. LOL! Whatever's hot right now in popular culture, chances are some black gay boi somewhere started it, either in our community or behind the scenes styling somebody else. Don't sleep; we help create culture.
   
   
10. Our Legacy. If you look at some of the names i've named above, you know that there's a lot to live up to. A high standard that we as black gay men, we who are aware of that legacy, have a duty to maintain. But dammit, it's our legacy. We have the privilege and honor and choice to accept that mantle and further the legacy, or to let it die. Do you doubt? Check out The Blackstripe for a more comprehensive list.
    

Damn, that was hard! I started this list DAYS ago, and just got it together enough to post. So what does that mean? Then on top of it all, i went back to look at Charles's post, and he's deleted it. Oh well. Take my list for what it is.

HOLIDAY POP QUIZ

Okay, so i borrowed this one from Bernie. (There! I've credited it; now he can't sue.) Rather than posting my responses in his comments section, i decided to do my post here and simply Trackback to him.

Besides, Bernie deserves a good Trackback every now and then. ;-)

Read on to find my answers to this Holiday Pop Quiz. And hit me back with your own responses if you feel it.

1. What is the one thing you must see or hear or do that tells you in no uncertain terms that it’s the holiday season?
   
   
2. Of the three, which is your favorite: Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Year’s Eve?
   
   
3. Is the holiday season typically fun or depressing for you?
   
   
4. Have you been good this year? Do you deserve a visit from Santa?
   
   
5. How old were you when you figured out there was no Santa Claus?
   
   
6. What was the best toy you ever got as a kid?
   
   
7. What adult toy would you like someone to give you?
   
   
8. What is your fondest memory from 2004?
   
   
9. To what are you most looking forward in 2005?
   
   
10. Are you optimistic or pessimistic as we enter a new year?

MY REPLIES:

1. What is the one thing you must see or hear or do that tells you in no uncertain terms that it’s the holiday season?
   Snow. As a child in Detroit, the holidays were never as magical if we didn't get at least one good snowfall. Of course, that means since i've been living in Atlanta for the past 13 years, i've seen about three holiday seasons, "in no uncertain terms." It takes a hell of a lot of magic to make that happen down here.
   
   
2. Of the three, which is your favorite: Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Year’s Eve?
   Hey, "Happy Chrismahanakwanzaka," i say. Let the holidays fight it out amongst themselves. Seriously, my favorite holiday is the Winter Solstice. Which just happens to be today. (Thank the goddess, the days are getting longer again!)
   
   
3. Is the holiday season typically fun or depressing for you?
   It's usually some mix of aggravating with all its forced cheer and peaceful as a time of calm and reflection. And a little depressing. (But then, i get depressed going to the grocery store, so take it for what it's worth.)
   
   
4. Have you been good this year? Do you deserve a visit from Santa?
   I've been a good, good boy in so many ways. But keep that fat devil off my rooftop!
   
   
5. How old were you when you figured out there was no Santa Claus?
   Figured?!? Oh no. I had the privelege of having my one-year-older cousin tell me the truth when i was seven or eight. (Now what does it say about our culture that she got punished for that?)
   
   
6. What was the best toy you ever got as a kid?
   Pokey. He's a stuffed panda that i got on my very first Christmas. I still have him. (With manufacturing lead time, that means he could be older than me.)
   
   
7. What adult toy would you like someone to give you?
   {{giggle}} "Adult" toy? Wouldn't you like to know ....
   
   
8. What is your fondest memory from 2004?
   Holding ADODI Muse's first CD, "Ain't Got Sense Enuf to be 'Shamed" in my hands after more than a year of hard work helping to make it happen? Holding the finished project of The Lion's Den Calendar in my hands after months of photography and layout work? (I acually had to struggle with this one, not because there were so many wonderful things to remember, but because my memories tend to be a blur of blessed sameness.)
   
   
9. To what are you most looking forward in 2005?
   Emigrating to Canada. LOL! Seriously, the biggest thing in the upcoming year for me is developing my photography, both as an artist and as a businessman.
   
   
10. Are you optimistic or pessimistic as we enter a new year?
    I am, as always, a cynical realist ...

Happy Holidays, Everyone!!!

Been Too Long

It's been forever since i posted. Okay, not forever, but a while.

I don't really have anything to say right now. Just that i'm going to try and get back in the swing of things, that i'm going to try to post more regularly again, that i hate bloglines because their crappy notifier is part of the reason i stopped blogging. And that i'm moving to Toronto.

Not soon, but i really need to go to a new country "in search of a better life."

Hmph.