Sunday, February 13, 2005


Depression is supposed to be the result of some chemical imbalance in the brain, right? (Or is that just a pharmaceutical company sales tactic?) So why is it i get depressed every time i go to the grocery store. More to the point -- and i just realized this yesterday in Publix -- why every time i walk down the frozen food isle? I can be feeling happy and bright and skippy and song-filled (okay, that's a little too mary poppins), then i turn down the frozen food isle and this overwhelming sense of sadness comes over me.

Of course, it's not ONLY when i'm in the frozen foods section.
Depression stalks me. It waits for me to let my guard down, then pounces on me when it catches me all unawares. We don't talk about it, though. I don't say, "The reason i didn't make it in to work yesterday was because the prospect of getting out of bed seemed too horrible to face."

This is something i've struggled with for years. When i worked in a mental hospital, it seemed the worst. Things have been up and down since then. I'm not sure i've ever discussed it publicly before. (Hell, that's not likely though; i've brought up every potentially embarrassing aspect of my life at least once.) I guess i'm wondering what 's the point. So i get depressed. So what. I still gotta live, right? I still have to get things done if i want 'em done.

So what's the answer? How do i -- without drugs -- address this up-and-down, can't-seem-to-do-nothing blue funk i keep finding myself in?

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