Thursday, July 29, 2004


So ... i was talking yesterday with Neena and Kevin about friendships, relationships, and family. It's no news to me, but i was reminded again of how distant i have become from my family. In this culture (Big Urban USA, circa 2004), many of us seem to accept that as normal. People grow up, begin to lead their own lives, and their relationships change.

I've spent many years, though, wondering why. And i've also been wondering at the way my relationship with my family plays out in my relationships with other people in my life. I seem to have an unnatural ability to detach and move on.

Not everyone who thinks they have a friendship with me actually does. As i remarked in our conversation yesterday, if people paid more attention to how i relate to my family, they might have a clue about what kind of friend i am.

Let me be clear: I love my family. I love my friends. I care about all of them. It's just that i don't always know how to be connected with them.

So when i don't call or write, when i am out of touch for months, people take it personally. It may sound cliché, but all i can tell them is, "It's not about you, it's about me." I'm a believer in choice, so i am clear that this is how i am choosing to relate to people in my life; i'm just not clear about why.

Thoughts? Suggestions? I could really use some feedback on this.

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